I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee.
I was driving home with my hand out the window, holding the top of the door frame. I do this everyday, unless it is too sweltering and I have to leave the window up so I can have the air conditioner on, or if someone else is riding with me, so that I can talk to them without shouting over the rushing air in my left ear.
This has always been a positive action, the only potentially negative experience occurred two years ago when a semi driving in the opposite direction drove past me, throwing a small piece of gravel through my window at me. If hadn't been wearing glasses, which I always do, it would've hit me right in the eye. Bad.
Today while driving home I had my hand out the window, as described in an earlier paragraph, when I was struck by something in the hand. That's fine, that happens here and there, when all of a sudden, as I look down to see if whatever I was hit by made it inside the car, I see a bumblebee, struggling to reorient itself. My first reaction was "I don't think I've ever seen a bumblebee before. It's always wasps." and then "Jesus Christ, this thing is probably angry and it has a stinger! It is going to sting me!" That is when I started to swerve and arch my left buttock off the seat, in an effort to distance myself from the harpoon with wings.
I quickly pulled the car into someone's driveway and jumped out of the car, "Space Oddity" by David Bowie still blaring from my iPod. I did everything I could to get that bee out of my car, including trying to get it angry at a pencil so it would latch on and exit, which it did eventually do.
And this is the part of the story when I have no idea how to end it.
3 Comments:
Seems like the opening scene for Bees: The Movie
4:56 PM
i was strolling the web area thingy, uh..."surfing" (fun, no sharks) and i noticed your stimulating report about the Bee Incident.
i would just like to say you should conclude it like this...
then, out of nowhere, a superhero appeared! and it was, was, was, i can't beleive it! it was a flying bug swapper! it could speak! and, oh my god, the most amazing fleet above them all! it can fly! it can fly! fly! fly my pretty! fly!
and, it saved the day. and i love it. i really do, someday im going to find it (seeing that it walked into the sunset) and im going to marry it.
the end.
it needs some work, i know.
call me if you want me to write your autobiography, i could make your life really interesting.
Heidi J. Hoffman
5:56 PM
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1:27 AM
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