Scotty Dies.

I'm not a huge Star Trek fan, I definately wouldn't consider myself a Trekkie, and I would barely use the word "fan," to be honest, but I do enjoy the Original Series, if only for Shatner. Rubber monster suits and really cheesy acting help as well.
Well, early this morning James Doohan, Scotty died, and as you can imagine, there are a lot of obituaries that use some derrivitave of the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty" in them (my personal favorite of the ones I've seen: Beloved Scotty is Beamed All the Way Up). I remember when DeForest Kelley, Bones, died wishing that somebody would use his catch phrase from the show in an obituary. I think the best title would be: I'm Dead, Jim.
So what will the other Star Trek obituaries read as when the time comes? Nimoy's is probably going to be something like:

Actor Leonard Nimoy Lived Long and Prospered

...though I wish it would turn out to be something like "Nerds Begin Search for Spock." The others actors aren't as obvious. Here are some attempts that no one but myself will find funny:
Nichelle Nichols: Lt. Cmdr. Uhura Hailed by the Great Beyond
George Takei: Star Trek's First, Last Legitimate Actor Dies
Walter Koenig: Guy Who Played Chekov Dies, No One Cares
and finally:
William Shatner: KHHHAAAAAANNNN! or
Shatner Dies, Survived by Hairpiece

Not funny.