"Urgent. Help."

It has become more and more increasingly rare as of late, but I occasionally go to church with my parents on weekends that I go home to visit them. This weekend I found the greatest pamphlet of all time in which Jesus asks me to protect His little ones from porn.

Here's something, creepy painting of Jesus: if I remember much from my childhood there are two levels of porn awareness as a child.

1) I have absolutely no interest in porn. If I have seen any, it was while flipping through the channels, crossing through Cinemax trying to get to HBO Family. While those people were hugging strangely, I didn't understand it and had no desire to continue watching it.
2) I have hit puberty. I want to see porn so badly that I will scour National Geographics for a nipple.

Neither of these points in a child's development do they require, want or appreciate any protection. So, thank you for giving me the giggles during church America Needs Fatima, offshoot of The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property, but I think there are probably 30 to 40 more important causes you can throw money at.

Attention federal government: If you have reached this blog due to the heavy usage of the words "porn" and "child," please know that I am simply discussing family values.